It’s been a stressful and nerve wracking couple of weeks since my last post.

I’ve always aimed for this blog to be an authentic account of what I’m up to and how I’m feeling, and I think I owe it to myself and to those who read it to write about the more difficult bits as well as the fun times.

Long story short coming back home and accepting that It’s time to make some sort of plan, earn some money, and get back into the ‘normal’ swing of things has been way harder than I was expecting. I’ve been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster trying to work out where to go from here.

To those who don’t know me personally, I’m not well educated, I don’t have a degree or an obvious career path, and have made a reasonable living by playing with bicycles in one way or another for the last 10 years. This is no bad thing, and I really enjoy it.

There are a lot of things I think I’m good at, not all of which complement each other. This can make it hard to narrow down a job search, and I cried on Andrew over a coffee last week because I felt totally lost, and then spent a while feeling sorry for myself because I couldn’t decide what to make for dinner and would rather be in a tent eating weird dehydrated space food whilst looking at the stars. In the end I strung together a pretty good risotto, watched Wallace and Gromit, and all was well.

I appreciate this is a good example of a first world problem, and ‘man goes on a big holiday, gets home, feels a bit lost and sad’ is not the basis for a hugely exciting story. Well done if you’ve managed to read this far. I’ll resume talking about exciting bike rides soon.

Currently, I’m taking on freelance writing work for a few cycling publications while trying to make my wheel building ‘side hustle’ into something slightly more legit. It now has a name, Clarity Wheelworks, a website, and (obviously) a Black Sabbath inspired logo courtesy of Tim at Forever Pedalling. Having built well over 1000 wheels it’s about time I put a name to this operation.

Something that took a little while to sink in, is that the independent nature of all of this work doesn’t suit me or play to my strengths. I’ve never considered myself a big extrovert but I do like being in a team, working towards shared goals, teaching others, learning from others, and freelancing is not this. Living alone and working entirely independently would drive me up the wall, and I’m glad to have realised this before committing to it as a long term plan.

With this in mind, my plan is to roll with self employed life for a little while alongside keeping my eyes peeled for any opportunities that may suit me. This plan gives me a little breathing room and means I can get some cash in while I try to find a position with a company/team that excites me and aligns with my values.

My mind is also buzzing away with future adventures. I want to walk the Skye Trail, to visit the Hebrides, to mountain bike through the Cairngorms, take a trip to Canada, take my road bike to the Alps, hike in Switzerland, do a canoe/kayak tour, and the list goes on. I might not have my work plans in place just yet but I’ve sure learned how to plan a holiday, and spending a summer going on adventures has given me a whole lot of inspiration for what to do next!

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