Back in June I set myself the challenge of riding my mountainbike for 24 hours around Ashton Court’s Nova Trail to raise money for Southmead Hospital, and to in some way show thanks to the staff there for the care they are providing to my dad, who is in intensive care with a rare autoimmune condition.

It was an unforgettable experience, and the support that I received throughout was incredibly touching. Friends old and new came out to feed me, ride with me, cheer me on, and get me through. Emotionally it was overwhelming. Dad is making some positive improvements now and things are looking up week by week, but at the time I had a very real and terrifying sense that he may not recover.

Throughout the ride my mind swayed in all directions, from welling up at the generosity of those who’d given their time to support me, to feeling possibly the strongest I’ve ever felt in my body, to fighting back the tears at night because the whole thing felt futile in the face of dads condition. In the evening when the sun went down and the woods got quiet, I carried a horrible thought that should he not make it, the ride could potentially be my last demonstration of care and love. This sounds like a dramatic thing to type, and I know at the end of the day it’s just riding a bike, but that night I felt like I was putting my heart into every single pedal stroke In a way that I hope to never do again.

I can’t say I’ve ever felt such a rollercoaster of feelings, and the comedown afterwards was huge. I didn’t know how to feel at all. I had acheived what I’d set out to, I’d done the longest ride of my life, on a mountainbike, and was proud of how my mind had dealt with the emotions and my body had showed up to the challenge, but I also had a big empty feeling that nothing had changed. It’s not as if riding your bike can cure an illness, so I’m not sure what I was expecting, but the helplessness of dad’s condition almost felt amplified in the days and weeks after the ride.

Putting the emotions to one side and trying to think purely about the ride, I was suprised by how quickly I got into a flow state and began ticking off lap after lap of the 7km trail. I’ve had a few ‘you must be sick of the Nova’ sort of comments since, but honestly It’s a really fun bit of trail, and trying to ride it with as much flow as possible, to not hold the bars too tight, to carry as much momentum as possible out of every turn, it was a really enjoyable excersise in calm riding and prioritising smoothness.

I was setting little milestones for myself the whole way, and mixing my units to make them feel nearer. ‘get to 100km, get to 100 miles, get to 200km etc. By about 280km I was completely ruined, well over my previous longest ride ever, and ended up pausing for quite a while, walking in the woods, taking some wisdom from Kerry and drinking a coke before setting off for one final lap with a big train of riders to tick me over the 300km mark and get to my 10am end point. My Mum jumped on her gravel bike and led us along the Quarry for the final time. I’m really glad she could be there and do this, and It meant a lot to have her get me to the end, this was a team effort.

Now that the dust has settled and dad is beginning to improve, I can feel really proud of what we acheived that weekend. We raised nearly £8000 for the hospital charity, and I can’t thank enough the people who got behind me to make it happen. To Tim for supporting the idea from the get go, and filming and photographing the experience to help drum up support online, to Kerry, for chauffering me around and being the ultimate nerve-calmer, To Ayoob and Freya for bringing thier own brand of good vibes (and a pizza oven) to the woods, to Liam and Ritchy for being amongst the worlds best two men to have alongside you on a bike at 2am in the midst of emotional turmoil, and to every one of the other friends and family who set thier early alarms and came out to ride with me. You’re all absolutely golden.

It’s been a while since I’ve shared anything on this blog. I’ve occasionally written a page or two before deciding it’s too much waffle and deleting it all. But here’s a step in getting stuck back in to putting thoughts and experiences on the page again, and I wanted to write this down to look back on.

Until next time, and maybe the next entry will be a bit more light hearted. ✌️